At the Doctor

I took Sydney to a developmental doctor that my pediatrician suggested. It was mostly to confirm her diagnoses of Apraxia and see if there were any other underlying issues we needed to be aware of.  

Dr. Sampson-Fang started by asking several questions and then with a test, asking Sydney to draw a circle. Sydney drew a person. Haha. And the test was over. Haha. There are no other issues, just the speech and she did confirm the diagnoses. 

She talked about pop-words, which Sydney has had a few of. When the brain is relaxed, but stimulated, she could have a pop-word come out. She explained it as a tunnel that lights up and then goes dark again. And Sydney's had this happen a few times. A year and a half ago we were at my in-laws and she rode a horse for the first time. She was very excited and she said the word horse probably ten times. We left and she sobbed "horse! horse!" But she's never said the word again since. The doctor said, the tunnel was lit, but went dark again and her brain can't tell her lips, teeth and tongue what to do to be able to say it.

She said Apraxia is like teaching someone who isn't athletic to play a sport well. She said, for most of us speaking is a natural ability, it's not for Sydney. She can learn to do it and the few words and sounds she makes are encouraging that she will, but it doesn't come natural for her. Like the sport. She will have to work, to train, daily to be able to gain the skills to speak.

I understand all of that. I know it isn't dreadful news. I know she can make it. She can do it. She's a strong girl--and a strong willed girl! God has blessed her with gifts that I already see how they will strengthen her and and help her through this. They will mold her into the beautiful person she's meant to be.

I just need to remember that when her swim teacher is asking all the kids their names and skips over her--knowing she can't say it, making her cry. 

I need to remember that when other kids are asking why she doesn't talk or why she says things weird. 

I need to remember that when we're both having melt downs because I can't understand what she wants/needs.

Her new SPL said to me: It's hard, it isn't easy, but it's doable. 

She can do this.

We all can.

(Breath, Repeat, Pray) :)