CONFESSION #10

This confession may sound a bit depressing, so if you're not in the mood, I don't blame you, just skip it. :) I'm watching THE HOLIDAY (love this movie) and that's why I even thought of it. Amanda one of the chicks in the can't cry, as much as she wants to, she can't.

I've always been a bit of a cryer. Sad, happy, spiritual, it usually makes me cry. 13 years ago this month my niece died. It was one of the worst things I've ever been through. But also, amazing, I was one of 6 people to hold her and see her and I'd never in a life time give that back. Anyway, after Alison died I cried and cried and cried, daily for about a year. Then I stopped. My Great Aunt died, who I adored adn at her funeral I couldn't cry. It didn't matter how happy, how sad, how spiritual, I couldn't cry. Nothing seemed to compare and nothing could make me emotional. And it was like that for about a year, until the 2nd anniversary of her death came and then I cried my eyes out again. And after another year or so, I was back to normal.

When Jeff and I got engaged we were hugging and I remember him saying to me, "It's okay, honey you can cry." The truth was though, I couln't. My tear ducts wouln't allow a tear to be mustered. It's kind of a strange feeling.